Everyone notices that i dont speak very much and i its not that i dont want too its just that i cant be myself when they think im someone im not, i also suffer from anxiety which makes it even more difficult. After I graduated high school i wanted to start over so i moved to my aunt's house. I have zero fear of somehow becoming gay, believe me, everyone would know if I were into men. I'm not sure why they get a pass on harassing men the same way awful straight guys harass women.Now I'm in college and I'm out to everyone, i don't have any crushes like i used to have in HS. Until then, I guess I'll "take it as a compliment" when I get ogled at the gym or peeped in the shower. I realized I was doing everything I could to keep my genital area from touching his body.However, my partial embrace left my friend feeling as if I were withholding emotionally. I am reassured he will not misinterpret any contact between our lower bodies, and he understands my need for this reassurance.The trick is not to fear these attractions, or feel ashamed of them, even if they are unrequited.My first glimpse of my straight male friend (the one who complained about my hugging) was in the locker room (and, yikes, the showers! He is 6’4”, handsome and muscular and yes, I was physically attracted to him, and in some ways, still am..So no wonder hetero men would fear homosexuality and gay men in particular.(Thus the “don’t drop the soap in the shower in front of that guy” metaphor) This legacy of violence, both physical and psychological, inflicted by straight men toward those of us who are gay naturally fuels our caution and distrust at the thought of befriending them. Garfield, describes the stiff hugs he would receive from a gay friend of his. Garfield is all about talking such things out—good medicine for those among us who are the strong silent, swallow-your- feelings-until-you-die-of-a-heart-attack type of guys.
What makes it hard is that I'm single,and he's married, and that complicates matters, as I know it could look very suspicious if we started hanging out together.
and last week participated in a conjoint interview with him by Dr.
Dan Gottlieb on WHYY National Public Radio in Philadelphia
As a result of this behavior-identity link, sexual congress between gay and straight men decreased considerably or at least went underground.
Gay men have suffered physical, social, and psychological abuse at the hands of heterosexually identified males who, thanks to homophobia and heterosexism, felt fully justified to inflict these terrors.